Friday, 26 June 2015

Sexting is Shared Naivety

Naivety is the tendency to make choices hastily and too readily, based on believing what one hears or sees .
Other terms  for naivety are credulousness, foolishness,  gullibility - or childish innocence , simplicity , or lack of experience.
Naivety is not found in younger or uneducated people only . It is a trait which could  be found in humans across all age groups  and social classes.
One of the harmful  results of naivety is being gullible a.k.a . being easily deceived and this inability to see, hear or recognise the evil intentions of people whom they trust is what all naive people have in common.
The rewards for naivety are as numerous and unpleasant as the rewards for the persons who lack the foresight of weighing the consequences of building multilevel structures on clay foundations.

" Sexting" is the term for sending sexually explicit images and messages, primarily between mobile phones.
This practice has become wide-spread amongst teenagers not only in the UK , but elsewhere .
When a group of young persons , especially school boys , are gathered and they are laughing while they are watching something on their mobile phones , i-Pad or lap-tops, there is no need asking them "What is funny? What are you guys looking at and laughing at ?! "
You want to know "What is funny "?
Watching nude and sex photos and videos of  each other and of their male and female friends  is what they think is funny!
Where "sexting" become most alarming and most unacceptable is when children are targeted , groomed ,  misled , blackmailed and even forced to engage in sharing their nude and sexually explicit photos and videos.
Teenagers and children both males and females are naive enough to comply with pressures to  share sexually explicit selfies with their friends , school mates and whosoever they think it is "fun" to share them with .
Most young persons do not report such requests made to them out of fear or just because they do not know it is a criminal offence for anyone to demand for , to make and to share sexually explicit photos and videos of children .

" Young girls are like helpless children in the hands of amorous men, whatever is said to them is true and whatever manipulation on their bodies seems like love to them, sooner or later, they come back to their senses, but the scars are not dead inasmuch as her spoiler lives.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson, Scars Of Beauty 

 Naive and gullible children, teenagers and even some naive adults who have had little or no life experiences  have no clue about how vulnerable they become when they share their intimate images .
Young girls are targets who are highly sought-after by boys and older men because men know that the younger and less experienced they are , the easier it is to  impress and deceive females with sweet words and dishonest romantic gestures .
Therefore naive females are the usual victims of  blackmail and revenge antics of people they have trusted. 
Their "not having a clue" about the workings of the male psyche is the main reason why naive and impressionable girls and naive adult women are popular as EASY and CHEAP targets for philandering males who succeed in sweet-talking gullible females into posing for nude photos and sex videos .

Young persons  are not the only ones who it think it is funny to share their nudity and sex recordings  all over the place , with all and sundry .It is common sight to see adult men and women in offices , clubs , pubs and elsewhere in groups hooting with laughter as they stare at
nude photos and sex videos on each others' mobile phones and iPads .
 It is incredible that not only are people naive enough to share their sexually explicit nude photos and sex videos  , but they throw all caution to the wind and allow people to retain copies of their shared nude photos and videos!
People don't seem to care about  the future implications of sharing their nudity and their sexual videos and  photos with all and sundry.
The fear of God and any iota of  regard for their own reputation is completely absent in such sharers of  nudity and sex videos.

Apart from little children and insane persons who are unaware of the impropriety of being stark naked in public , other human beings know instinctively that their nudity and sexual acts should be confined to behind closed doors only.
I believe that apart from keeping out intruders and criminals , the main reason for inventing doors , locks and keys was to give people the freedom and privacy to undress or have sex , if they so desire , within the confines of their own homes or in any closed space .
 Normal adults disapprove and they would recoil from scenes of  public display of nudity and sex.
Even  in sexually- permissive societies , nudity in public and performing full sexual acts in public are frowned upon and these are regarded as  indecent , abnormal and illegal acts .
In fact , medically , it is proven that the strong urge to strip and walk naked in full public glare and the urge  to engage in sexual acts in public are some of the early symptoms  of mental derangement in human beings.
Therefore, in every normal human society on earth,  persons guilty of  publish "flashing" and public sexual acts are quickly apprehended  and incarcerated to undergo psychiatric assessment. 
Exceptions to these rules are inhabitants of Nudist colonies and jungle tribes who live in their own secluded areas of the world where they have no use for any form of clothing .
Nudity by the members of such communities is confined to their own borders within where they display their nudity freely to each other. But their nudity is not welcome and not appreciated by the rest of the world because they are not permitted to show up stark naked  in  other towns and cities .

Sharing of nude photos and sex videos and other sexually explicit media by couples is not a new trend in the West ; where for many decades now, stories abound of photos and videos sharing among friends, school mates, colleagues, partners,  husbands and wives , all media with nudity and sexual contents, .
Nowadays , everywhere in the world , people of  all ages and of  both sexes are inundated with demands for their nude photos and videos from their lovers or their spouses , friends , colleagues etc.
All it takes for the male or female wishing to start the nude photos sharing alliance is to initiate it  by  sending his / her own nude photos  to some female or male and requesting that the other person  reciprocates by replying  him / her with their own nude photos.
Apart from sharing sexually explicit photos and video clips via smart phones ,  sexual contents are shared via emails , text messages , voice messages and messages on social media popular sites such as messages via Face Book , Twitter , WhatsApp , Messenger etc. 
"Fun" is the name of this game which is and has been common practices for teenagers, adult  men and women and even children who do not see the harm in  exchanging sexually explicit photos and videos of themselves to whoever they want  to share them with .
"Trust" is the reason for sharing such "fun".  People share their private photos and videos with the tacit understanding that the shared photos and videos are private and will be restricted to the viewing pleasure of the persons with whom they have shared them, only.
 Usually , males both young and old are the initiators of suggestions to females for sharing of  each other's photos and videos with nude and sexual contents.
Hello girls and women !
There is nothing "funny" in anything which will bring sorrow ,shame,  fear and regret into your future lives.
Naive persons are vulnerable by reason of their lack of discernment and they therefore become victims many times over
It is the height of  foolishness to share your photos and videos showing your  nudity and sex scenes with any man.
Evil people rely on the acquiescence of naive good people to allow them to continue with their evil.
Have you received the usual sweet talk through phone calls, texts and videos messages?
 Such as requests from known or unknown males saying, "Baby , you are beautiful and sexy . Let's do it! Show me your real colours !"  ?
 You should be self-confident enough to know that you DO NOT need such flattery from anybody .
 Yes, you know are beautiful and sexy and so you do not need to be flattered  and reassured by anybody before you believe that fact .
Except you are one of those " professionals " who willingly decide to make their living by marketing  their looks, their nudity, sexuality and sexual displays  for public viewing and entertainment.
 As such , you should be aware of  and be prepared for the future consequences of  sharing your "professional publications " containing your nude photos and porn videos to the general  public.
If you are not a "professional" , and you value your privacy and your future peace of mind ; if or when any man , be he your boyfriend , boss or husband or whoever,  makes demands on you to pose for and share with him your porn videos and photos ; this is the point where a firm "NO!" must be your response.
If  any male insists that " if you don't satisfy my demand to pose for me or with me , then I will get plenty of it from hundreds of girls!" ; then you tell him to go ahead and do just that .
Let him go and share  his " real colours " with plenty of  females on the internet , on the streets or wherever who would be insane enough to reciprocate by showing him their " real colours ".
When two people consent to the shared naivety ( " shared fun" ?) of recording, saving  and sharing their nudity , before they know it , sharing their nude photos and videos with each other becomes a regular habit.
From sharing of their nude photos and videos they would graduate to making videos of having sex together.
If in future , you the female become the victim of revenge porn because you consented to share your nude photos and sex videos with a man, most people would blame you the female and not the man who has decided to embark on a bitter revenge mission against you .

People's lives have been ruined because their nude photos and videos shared out by them many years ago,  are now turning up in the public domain on the internet sites and on the emails and mobile phones of  their current partners or spouses , their  families ,  friends , colleagues and neighbours.
 Revenge Porn is a trend sweeping across the developed world — from the US and Japan to countries in Europe. The Revenge Porn trend is also catching on in some African and Asian countries.
Revenge porn is the act of publicly sharing online and on mobile phones sexually explicit  photos and videos  without the consent of the persons in the photos and videos  .
 The main purpose of Revenge Porn is to shame or embarrass the pictured or filmed individuals , who are usually  adult women and young girls who had entrusted their  nude photos and sex videos with boys and men who they had close relationships with , or even their close girlfriends or ex- spouses  .
Some wicked persons have even gone to the extent of making large colour  posters of their ex's  nude photos and pasting them on the entrance of  the victims' offices and all over their residential areas.
 Mostly, the sexually explicit pictures and videos are of  girls and women posted by jilted or spurned men in order to destabilise the emotional state and the present and future lives of these females .
Adult women and girls , even as young as 10, have fallen victims to men and boys who have exacted sick forms of revenge against females who have refused to continue their relationships.
 These women and girls become vulnerable because they were naive and trusting enough to share such photos and videos with people. 
 Therefore there is grave danger ahead and it is sheer foolishness for anyone to consent to record and share "confidential" photos and videos with another human being , whatever their closeness and "love" for each other.
The strange thing about this blind trust by females is that one would NOT expect such unwise behaviour from ADULT women who should know better than to trust anybody , especially  men,  with their nude photos and sex videos.  Soon or late , their shared nude photos and sex videos could be used as effective weapons of revenge , bullying and blackmail against them .

 Revenge porn may also be uploaded by unknown hackers who got the materials from  people's ex-partners, ex-spouses,ex-friends, relations, colleagues or whoever have been entrusted with  private photos and videos.
The internet is full of accounts of  the pain and the shame suffered by victims of Revenge Porn .
The following narrations would expose the workings of the minds of  men who decided to resort to Revenge Porn as the ultimate weapon against girls and women who have spurned them .
Hear them : 
* "She was in a relationship with me for the last 5 years, and then betrayed me when I asked to marry her.
I want to take revenge for what she did to me and my family.  I enjoyed my revenge by sharing her nude photos online ! I know it is some sort of crime but I can not forget her betrayal ".
* A lady lamented bitterly that ; " A month ago, an ex did one of the scummiest things possible : he  posted nude photos that I had taken of myself for him on the internet. They weren't just photos of me, either. The site had my full name and hometown, and was the first result when I googled my name. When I discovered this, I panicked and cried for hours, then after a lot of convincing from my friends, I went to the police ".
* "My ex wife is completely insane. She is the most manipulative, greedy person alive. I have several pictures of her nude and performing lewd acts in public on other chicks while we were married.
 I have posted them because they have been in my possession for so long and she obviously knew they existed because she posed for them ".
* A love cheat who was dumped after his girlfriend found him in bed with another woman posted his ex- girlfriend 's naked  pictures to her mum's mobile phone.
Distraught Hannah Davison, 21, was left shell-shocked when Christopher Todd sent an intimate photo after their break-up ,  in a message that was then opened by her father.
Todd has been given a suspended sentence for sending the offensive message, which claimed Hannah was spreading sexually-transmitted diseases.
*A jilted teenager blackmailed his ex-girlfriend in a 'revenge porn' plot to force her to buy him regular X-BOX GAMES after their split.
Sean Jepson's scam was stopped when his victim complained to police in May last year about his threats to expose her explicit selfie pictures to her family and friends.
Cops who swooped on his home in Wigan, Greater Manchester, found thousands of indecent images of children on his computer, and other extreme porn clips.
*  How would you feel if you casually opened a mail and found the link to a pornographic site — and it turned out to contain pictures of yourself naked?
That's what Kalpana did. She clicked on a link sent to her and, to her horror, found that the face of the girl who "was available for sex" was hers. Her stomach lurched when she saw that the pictures showed her own bedroom. The site also contained her personal and contact details.
Kalpana was shattered. The subject line of the mail had said "I'm going to ruin you, dear". It had seemed like a prank. Only, it wasn't. It was a very real and malevolent attempt to destroy her reputation.
The 24-year-old Mumbai-based bank executive had become a victim of revenge porn .
Kalpana's photos, it was later found, were posted by her recently divorced husband, Pranay.
 They were taken when the two lived together.
* On 12th November, 2014 , a dad  become the first person in Britain to be jailed for “revenge porn” after posting a nude photo of his ex-partner online. Luke King, 21, used the WhatsApp messaging service to post the X-rated snap of his former girlfriend. He was sent intimate pictures "for his eyes only" by the woman during an on-off three-year relationship.
But a court heard the victim - who hasn't been named - became worried when he threatened to post the explicit snaps online.
She was then horrified when she realised his website profile had been amended to include a "private image" of her on August 8 this year.
Unemployed King pleaded guilty to posting an explicit image on the internet in a course of conduct which amounted to harassment of the woman and was jailed for 12 weeks.

The sad aspect of this worrying trend of Revenge Porn is that the females involved have become victims because of  their naivety and their misplaced trust in men .
It is sad because these women could easily have avoided the trauma of having their nudity spread out , free of charge, all over the internet if only they had said a firm but simple "No!"to pressures from people for them to pose nude.
Many girls would say , "it is my body ; I can do what I like with it !"
No it is not your body . You are just a custodian of  your  body and one day you will give an account for how you used your body to God  your Maker .
In future , before you go to stand before God your Maker , you will regret  the irresponsible way you have abused your own body.
Little girls must be taught by their parents and taught in schools and in churches the implications of  not respecting their bodies and not concealing their nudity.
 Most of all ,  girls should be reminded that in future, they would regret sharing their nude selfies and making and sharing their sex videos with all and sundry when they become vulnerable at certain stages of their lives , such as ;
1.) after they have fallen out of love with their current partners or cut off from their sex video sharing friends ;
2 ) when they grow up to become women of substance, occupying top positions in the society and socializing with very important friends; their success could stir up bitterness and envy from their less successful friends and ex lovers . Those who have their nude and sex photos and videos could then resort  to using such evidence for  blackmail to extort  money from them or for the purposes of  Revenge porn .
 3.) after they meet their "Mr. Right" ; there will be a lot for them to lose if the man who is the love of the lives gets hold of their lurid photos and sex videos ;
 4.)  when they become mothers , grandmothers and great grandmothers .

 Women who are engaged in "sexting" even at their level of being mothers , grandmothers and in top positions have a lot  to lose if  they became victims of  Revenge Porn.
How would you feel if your children and grand-children came home distressed from school or their playground ; they are in tears because they have suffered great shame after being ridiculed and bullied by their friends and school mates? Just because the nude photos and sex videos of  YOU  their grannies and mothers have been posted on  internet sites AND have been shared around on the smart phones and lap tops of all their  friends and their school mates ?
Could you imagine it or can you feel the pain of your sons and daughters who have been traumatised by your selfish and shameful naivety of  posing for those nude and sexual images?
Especially the pain felt  by your sons and grand sons?
Boys and men do not find it funny when they know that  their friends, school mates and colleagues are being entertained by the nude photos and sex videos published in porn  magazines and internet porn sites featuring the nudity and sexual acts of their wives , mothers , sisters or other female members of their family.
 Little wonder that because of  the effects of Revenge porn , some marriages have gone up in smoke and there are sons who hate their mothers and grandmothers and some of their sisters  with implacable and passionate hatred .

If you are a young girl or boy and anyone keeps pestering you to join him or her  in the exchanging of nude and sex photos and videos , report such to your parents who will call the Police.
If  the harm is done already and you  now a victim of  Revenge Porn, here is a list of things to do when you find out:
  1. Contact the police. Seriously. They can help you more than you can help yourself in this situation.
  2.  A new revenge porn law in the UK came into effect from 13th April  2015, expressly stating that those who share sexually explicit images without the subject's consent could find themselves in DEEP trouble. A perpetrator is someone who discloses a private sexual image without the subject's consent. i.e. the perpetrator turns it from being private image into a public one, with the intent to cause distress. The victim may have consented to the image creation but will not have consented to it being made public.
  3. Could someone be in trouble if they receive an unsolicited naked image on their phone?
    There is no law against receiving images. However, if you go on to share them you could be breaking the law. Simple rule: if you get an image like this, delete it and don't forward. 
    What are the penalties for someone convicted of revenge porn offences?
    Someone found guilty can go to prison for up to two years, plus a fine.
  4. Contact a copyright protection company. They are able to remove the pages from Google search and  to get the photos and videos off the sites.
  5. Privatize all your social media or else you will get creepy messages from men on Facebook and other sites. Don't ask me why they're okay with hitting on a girl that obviously didn't want her pictures on the site.
  6. Keep records of  EVERYTHING. Messages from random people hitting on you via Facebook, texts/ voice mails from your ex, screenshots of the site(s) your photo is on. 
Unfortunately , once your nudes photos , sex videos emails and voice messages hit the internet sites and people's smart phones, they are gone forever.
They will keep circulating and turning up on various websites there and keep been shared out on mobile phones .
There is little or nothing you or the Police can do if and when your nude photos have been shared to hundreds of people , who you do not even know have received them.
When your nude photos and videos are out there, you would  find it difficult to forgive yourself because such photos and videos would be out of your reach and control and in the hands of undeserving persons, forever. 
 If you  know you have a lot to lose in case your nudity is shared publicly, the solution for avoiding the shame of Revenge Porn or attack from hackers online,  is never pose nude and do not  share out your nude photos and video with anyone, especially with men and boys .
Better still and be smart by not taking and NOT storing nude photos of yourselves on your phone or even on your other cameras .
 When you are in happy relationships with your friends and when you fall in love do so with your two eyes open.  Do not shoot or share your sexually explicit photos or videos with any one.
Zip up and keep you nudity to yourself in order to avoid the shame of  seeing your published nude photos online .
Mobile phones malfunction by making automatic back-up of all your phone camera  photos on internet sites, without your knowledge or permission !
You are responsible for whatever happens to you as you use your mobile phone and surf the internet.
 Be cyber -savvy . Be vigilant . Google your name and your internet sites regularly to see what are posted there.
Enjoy the very good aspects of the Internet . Happy surfing.

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