Wednesday, 24 February 2010
Coming Clean .
That he told her all his heart, and said unto her, There hath not come a razor upon my head: for I have been a Nazarite unto God from my mother's womb....! Judges 16:17.
Secrets are heavy burdens which most people carry at some point in their lives .
Confession , "coming clean", is also known as , "baring one's mind or soul" ,"letting the cat out of the bag" or "airing dirty laundry in public".
"Coming clean " is the act of revealing secrets to one or more persons , or sharing our desires, fears and aspirations with others.
For some people harbouring secrets is second nature to them. They believe that their confessions are privileges from them ; reserved for God and their very close friends and lovers, ONLY.
However, with some people, no secrets , big or small , are safe!
There are various reasons for people's decision to "come clean" .
Confession of transgressions could be done voluntarily from a guilty and repentant heart.
Or people could be flattered , forced , tortured , drunk , "spaced out" , sexually seduced and aroused , tricked, cajoled, bribed or entrapped before divulging secrets.
The anonymity of technology offered by phones and the Internet has made it very easy for shy people to be bold enough to "come clean" about their shocking secrets and deep-seated sexual fantasies and " hate rages" ; using swear words cursing and ranting about anything and everything , to their hearts' content!
There are websites where people using pseudonyms can have a field day, doing these.
Also,there are 24 hours "sex-chat" or "rage" phone lines set up to make money from calls from people willing and eager to call and release the burdens of their souls about their sexual fantasies , anger , frustrations and about whatever!
One of the the most enduring and potent weapons used to extract secrets from even the most hardened secretive souls is the "Honey Pot" system.
This weapon has been used for thousands of years and it is still working till today.
The classic example of a "Honey Pot" trap is the saga of Samson and Delilah.
Even today , men both great and small have continued to fall ; to be deceived by
modern day "Delilahs" , who have done excellent jobs of extracting valuable secrets.
Satan has used such women to cause the mighty fall of several ministers of God.
"Delilahs" are being used by law enforcement agents , by the military and the Secret Service as spies to infiltrate dangerous criminal gangs and top government and military circles ,in all over the world ; with devastating effects.
The male equivalents of Delilahs are the "Cassanovas".
These are men who use their charming good looks, flaterring words and fake promises of undying love, romance and marriage to deceive old or young wealthy and prominent women into divulging secrets about their bank accounts and other valuable properties.
Whatever the reasons for them, confessions could make or mar a human being.
A burden shared is a burden halved. Some people come clean when they could no longer bear the burden and guilt of keeping their secrets.
Confessions bring relief to weary souls and could cleanse the soul and body of toxins.
Depending on their intentions , people could decide to "come clean" with honest or evil motives.
A genuine repentance and desire for forgiveness for past crimes against humanity , could prompt a full confession from an offender to their victims. This helps to mend bridges and create peace with victims of the offender's crimes .
Also, coming clean with admittance of guilt and sorrow; could be a cunning ploy to deceive and gain the forgiveness and trust of former victims; thereby re-gaining access into their victims' lives and homes to commit even worse crimes than before!
Sometimes, people could decide to parry or escape further questioning by making false confessions.
Samson did this to Delilah before finally succumbing to her wiles .
A false confession could , also be made to get respite from nagging!
Constant pressures and nagging demands from loved ones "for the truth" could be doing one's head in; to the extent of prompting a false confession!
Some jocular confessions could be expensive, painful jokes to an impressionable mind.
The answer to this child's persistent questions in the graphics below; could have been :"Okay ,okay ! You was downloaded ! And so what?
Now get out of my face!
Coming clean ; apart from being an act of obedience to the Word of God, could the required elixir for relationships.
Confess your faults one to one another, and pray for one another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. James 5:16.
When we bare our innermost guilt and secrets to another human being we are indicating that we trust them and wish to be trusted in return.
Also, it indicates that we wish to start or renew a relationship on a clean slate; with no deceit or secrets between us and our confidants.
However , in any case of "confessing" to any human being ,caution by Wisdom based on the Word of God, should be our guide.
Confess your faults to Man and your SINS ,to God and not to any man .
Men, however spiritual, could relate with each other on a judgemental basis, based on their information gathered from people's confessions!.
But ONLY God forgets and forgives us , absolutely.
Recently, one of my young lady friends visited me and she was very distraught!
She is one of my mentees; who I stand in prayers with concerning life partners.
Her fiancé ,who attends the same church with her, suddenly , had become very cold towards her and had stopped calling her or answering her calls and text messages! Worst still, she heard he had been saying nasty things about her to their friends.
Weeks before this, she had asked me for my counsel. This guy had been asking her to tell him "everything" about her past life history , before she became born again!
He had generously told her about his former girlfriends, how they went on holidays together, what they did in bed and how many abortions he and the girls had agreed to commit! He tried to convince her that since he had confessed his sins to her, she should do the same for him. He then quoted James 5:16.
It is very good to quote the scriptures. But it is neither good nor fair to use the Bible with cunning intentions, to manipulate people for selfish ends!
I remember warning this particular young lady NEVER to divulge her past sins to any human being. Her past sins are no body's business.
Faults and sins are not the same.
People sin against God ; not man. Only God has the power to forgive sins.
When a person confesses and repents , God forgives them and they become completely new creatures. Proverbs 28:13 ,2 Corinthians 5 : 17 -19.
Any body who cannot believe and accept this truth about you, a child of God, should be told to keep off from you. They should go away and try their bigotry stuff elsewhere! No man or woman has the right to probe and demand for a "confession" from you. Confession of sins to mere human beings for what?
There are Christians who are angry and are very bitter because they have discovered that their personal secrets which they had revealed in confidence, to some "counsellors" and "prayer-partners" in the church , are now general knowledge; in the public domain as topics for gossips, all over the place!
May God enrich us with the wisdom to know these differences and to sense the devices of the enemy to take advantage of our Faith in the Word of God. Amen.
During courtship, it is imperative that the intending couples come clean to each other about certain aspects of their lives , past and present.
The couple must not conceal facts like: if they were married , divorced , separated, or if they had children already .
But they should not go into details about their sex lives and bedroom games with their previous partners!
They should come clean if they are unemployed, under-employed or struggling financially. There must not be any lies, deceit, fake grandeur or false living.
Also,the couple must come clean if they have any hidden health challenges like sickle cell anaemia,leprosy , epilepsy, cancer, AIDS/HIV, occasional psychiatric malfunctions, male impotence or female frigidity.
These faults should not be concealed but they should be revealed and shared by the couple; so that they could pray for each other and seek counselling.
Sometimes , the couple could require counselling and prayers from ministers of their church to tackle these issues before marriage.
Some Christians cannot accept some of these faults in their future partners ; while some Christians can and do accept them. It all depends on the individual's spiritual maturity. There should be no deceits ,at all.
Engagement is marriage .
Persons who cannot accept these faults should fell free to walk away from engagements and try their search elsewhere, without wasting each other's time.
Any man who insists on knowing his proposed wife's past "sins" is up to no good.
It is the height of folly for any girl to "confess her past sins" ; especially sexual and abortion sins to a man she is planning to marry!
Most men , on hearing such confessions would take to their heels.
You would not even see their brake lights for dust!
Why ? The male psyche is different from that of females.
One of the realities of life is that: while men would expect women to accept, overlook and forgive men's sexual indiscretions; most men , including born-again Christian men; CANNOT forget, overlook or forgive the same from women.
Even after marriage, some men , still, would hold such information against their wives and keep bringing up the matter .
This attitude could cause serious problems for any couple.
In this aspect of "coming clean", some men are simply, insanely unforgiving!
Recently, a man divorced his wife because she was raped in his presence by armed robbers who decided not only to beat and rob them but also to rape his wife and their two teenage daughters!
From that day, onward, he refused to sleep with his wife !
He just could not bear the memory of the horrible incidence of his wife's rape.
This led to a lot aggression and hostility from him towards his wife.
All appeals to him and efforts from friends and families to make him see reason, fell on deaf ears. He could not give even one reason why his wife was being blamed for what happened.
After a short while, he moved out of their home and remarried.
This would tell you HOW the mind of some men work!
Some people would come clean because they desire the attention and publicity which a scandalous confession brings into their dull lives!
Certain people who have nothing exciting in their lives to attract the attention of anybody, would readily sell ANY information about their important friends , lovers or family members to the press. In order to gain publicity and high ratings for themselves.
Coming clean about plans for mass murder and suicide could be a cry for help and cry for attention from a sad ,mad and lonely alarmist. These type of sick confessions should be investigated, urgently and not dismissed as "fake".
Full confessions silence blackmailers !
By coming clean with your personal scandalous escapades to the general public, you would succeed in taking the wind off the sails of any blackmailer who was harassing you and demanding for money from you.
This effective weapon has been used by many politicians and celebrities who have been targeted by all sorts of blackmailers.
Sheer madness caused by anger and frustration is another reason for coming clean!
Criminals and partners-in-crime could throw all caution to the wind and confess long-held secrets.They have been known to come out of the blues to turn themselves in as prosecution -witnesses by confessing serious crimes carrying stiff penalties.
Such confessions are made by criminals with a desire for revenge against their gang members who have cheated them of their share of the loot from the gang's crimes .
Hell knows no fury as a woman scorned!
Aggrieved mistresses have been known to come clean with damaging details about affairs with wealthy and prominent married men.
With a strong desire to hurt their married boyfriends and their wives; these angry mistresses target the men's marriages ,careers, their incomes and reputations with the intention of pulling them down and tearing them to shreds.
Unfortunately ,these revengeful mistresses ,usually, achieve their aims.
As happened some years back ,in the case of the Pastor/General Overseer of one of the biggest churches in London( estimated membership of 3500 ), who was convicted for rape and jailed in 2003!
This highly respected minister of God had been committing adultery with several single and married women in his church , for many years.
I remember the harrowing shame and shock which EVERY Christian felt, during his well publicised trial and sentencing. Nobody believed he could fall so mightily.
All the newspapers had a field day, publishing terrible disclosures about the man of God from his several mistresses and stories about his embezzlement of church funds and lavish lifestyle.
At first he denied it all ; but eventually , he broke down and confessed everything.
I remember my sister and I watching his confession on TV as we wept bitterly!
As soon as one of these women came out , others followed suit to do more damage!
The pastor had told each of them that they were special and that he loved them only and no other woman! This lie made them very angry and willing to expose him.
One of them was so angry that she alleged that the pastor raped her in his office!
The first woman to confess said she decided to "come clean" became she was fed up and became very disgusted by his hypocrisy!
She said while he was always sleeping with her; committing adultery , he was pretending to be a good husband! She said the pastor would preach two sentences and the 3rd sentence would be about "My lovely , beautiful , wonderful wife!"
Also, she said she came clean with every detail to teach the pastor's wife a lesson!
What did the pastor's poor wife do to deserve this great scandal?
She said she was disgusted with hearing the pastor's wife, whenever she was preaching, saying: "My wonderful, handsome husband did this, did that for me or said this and that!"
When you join hands to commit and conceal sins with others you will surely be exposed ,some day. Even when people have promised you to keep your secrets secret;
they could decide any time to blackmail you or come clean with damaging revelations!
Though hand join in hand , the wicked shall not be unpunished: but the seed of the righteous shall be delivered. Proverbs 11:21.
The heaven shall reveal his iniquity and the earth shall rise up against him. Job 20:27
May God deliver us from every snare of the enemy! Amen.
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