Should John Terry be sacked as England's foot ball Captain?
No. Definitely No.
Do I support adultery? No again.
Although , Sex Scandals ,wherever they erupt from, don't shock me any more because I am not naive and gullible; that does not mean I would condone infidelity.
While I would not be surprised to hear that certain persons have been caught in sexual sin , there are others who I would expect them to uphold fidelity in marriage.
Especially people under God's authority and those who have so much to lose.
John Terry is an athlete who wears the colours of England , occasionally.
He cannot make policy statements on behalf of his country.
He is not a politician , government official or a Christian clergyman who occupy positions of trust and are expected to abide by strict moral codes.
If John cheated on his wife , that is their private problem and business ; to be sorted out quietly , behind closed doors or , if the two of them so wish , as a free-for-all brawl in the full public glare!
How does his cheating on his wife affect his performance as a star footballer or his position as England Captain?
Is England a squeaky-clean country with high moral standards whose football captain must be a spotless saint or knight in shiny armour?
Since when did we start expecting high moral standards from football stars and other celebrities before we can accept and enjoy the entertainment they give us?
If a precedent is laid whereby every one who is caught in adultery is skinned , quartered and hung to dry ; who will be left standing?
Only those who are innocent and those who HAVE NOT been caught .
Let him who has no sin cast the first stone! John 8:7.
John Terry has performed his duties as a top English footballer , excellently.
Is this the first time he would cheat on his wife?
Only he knows the answer to that because up till now , he had not been found out.
Whatever. Cheating or not cheating. Who cares?
So far, we know that John Terry ,"Terry the Untouchable " , has been a star professional who has maintained a comparably dignified life-style on and off the pitch.
Although , I am not a Chelsea Fan ,Terry's composure and achievements have earned him my admiration and that of Chelsea Club management and millions of fans world wide.
His popularity and professionalism earned him the England captaincy, not his fidelity to his marital vows.
For the above reasons, millions of Britons support that he should remain as England Captain.
For all this public opinion is worth, this being England, I suspect that there will be pressures to "do what is right" and John could lose the England Captaincy.
John Terry's sponsors would also want to keep their images clean ; so he could lose millions in sponsorship deals.
Some columnists wrote that Terry "is a low-down cheat who has betrayed the trust reposed on him and he is a poor role model for the young who look up to him!"
PAW-LEA-SE! Don't make me laugh!
Betrayed whose trust? Role model to which youth?
Don't even mention it! Don't even go there!
The youths look up to him for his skills and ENTERTAINMENT which he gives them as a footballer and not as a role model.
Some of the youth in the U.K. cannot be " role-modelled" by anyone . They have a mind of their own and they are a law unto themselves!
There are stuff about sex and wild living which young persons (even as young as 8 to 12 year-old ) in this country know and engage in which would shock experienced adults like John Terry and his group of eminent friends into stunned silence !
Stuff that would make any self - styled "role model" faint from shock .
As usual , those who would laugh to the bank in this mess are the "Kiss -and-Tell Mistress", the publicist Max Clifford and the gutter press.
This further confirms that there are women who embark on a revenge mission and would derive pleasure from destroying what they cannot possess.
Women and men who have made it a lifestyle to hunt down celebrities are watching and praying for their next big catch to kiss and tell.
The press and other scavengers stand to gain a lot by fanning the flames of any sex scandal and blowing it out of proportion . The hotter the scandal , the more newspapers are sold.
Two months ago , it was all about Tiger Woods and his "transgressions" .
Last month it was the shocking sexual scandal about 60 year-old Mrs.Iris Robinson, top female politician in N.Ireland and evangelical Christian , embroiled in a love affair with a 19 year-old boy ! This scandal has derailed and wrecked her decades-old career as Member of Parliament and her husband , Peter's laudable political career as First Minister of N.Ireland! She has resigned and her husband's position is suspended
I wrote in my blog "Tiger Woods: Getting on With" on 12/12/09 that not only Tiger Woods is guilty ; but that hundreds of other celebrities and millions of " commoners" are cheating on their wives and husbands but they have succeeded in covering their tracks and have not been caught , yet.
As with every secret , there is a Day of Revelation.
Today , the heat is on John Terry .
Who next?
Would married men (and married women )learn from these and previous scandals and keep their pants up , especially when they have so much to lose?
I don't think so .
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
Monday, 1 February 2010
Coping With Stress
Good health is an indication of a balance in the human body .
It is a proof that the various facets of the human entity; the spirit , the soul (the mind , intellect and emotions) and the body are correctly aligned .
This balance , or harmony , is evidenced in a sense of well – being , characterised by a high–level of energy , a zest for life ( a merry heart!) with a calm confidence that no mountain is too high to climb.
Malfunction sets in when this harmony between the spirit , soul and body is upturned.
Stress and fatigue are our bodies' ways of letting us know that we are doing something which is not good for our health .
Due to the hustle and bustle of daily living , most people just go on pushing themselves ; to meet up with the rat race.
This striving causes fatigue and anxieties.
Stress is an indication that a person’s energy is being overstretched in excessive concentration on some facets of life to the detriment of others .
When there is a “pull for attention” from the different areas ,as in a tug-of-war; tautness and tension results in the body and mind .
Then stress and fatigue sets in.
Stress is a silent killer and is usually a precursor to heart and mental disorders.
Some of the unpleasant symptons of stress and fatigue are:
Depression, low self –esteem ,persistent feeling of tiredness, migraines, poor concentration , poor memory , sleeplessness, short temper and inability to perform even basic tasks which the person used to do before.
These are the mildest signs of stress in a person.
Stress- sufferers are aggressive and blame everyone for their misfortunes.
Acute stress causes alcohol dependancy, stimulants and drug abuse, schizophrenia ,high blood pressure , heart and mental disorders , suicide and even murder.
Attempting to alleviate stress by resorting to substance or drug abuse leads a person into a vicious cycle. Stress induces cravings for stimulants abuse and the latter brings on additional stress which demands for more drug abuse!
Common stress- triggers are fear, unanswered prayers, anxiety, anger, distress, helplessness, work – related pressures and even heartbreak caused by relationships break down.
Financial burdens ,losses and huge debts are challenges faced by many people, which have crippled countless lofty dreams and resulted in acute stress for millions of people.
The greater the fall in revenue, the greater the risk that the loser would suffer from acute stress.
Crime ,noise, traffic jams, bullying and receiving constant nagging and criticisms are major irritants which could bring on stress.
Other major causes of stress are guilt , failed expectations , terminal diseases and bereavement.
Stress also results from planning and executing a major event, from excessive multi-tasking and competitiveness .
A major underlining factor for stress is Envy.
There are persons who are stressed up because they do not want to see or hear of the the good-fortune of others.
Deep-seated hatred and resentment towards persons who are more successful and who possess what the stress - sufferer desires but cannot attain are destructive maladies.
Persons filled the spirits of Envy and Bitterness are some of the most unpleasant and destructive persons to live, work or socialise with.
Envy is the root of the evils of slander, witchcraft, sorcery and murder.
Inevitably, envy , bitterness and unforgiveness poison the mind and body ;they gnaw on the sufferer's guts and heart resulting in ulcers and acute hypertension .
The Holy Bible describes envy as " the rottenness of bones ". Proverbs 14:30.
From the above , it is apparent that stress must be recognised and treated with dispatch .
The causes , effects and treatment of stress is a vast topic .
Space allows me to state that whatever the cause and level of stress and fatigue; the first step in coping with stress and fatigue is to accept that; it makes for a calmer life if you realise that there are certain things , situations and persons which you can change and there are others which you cannot change .
In order to maintain a fulfilling , stress-free life , you would need to change what you put into your life , into your body and into mind .
Then and only after then , would you change how you feel , what you think and how you look .
You should be your own best friend by taking your life in your hands and making necessary amends.
You cannot run away from your demons. You have to confront them and deal with them.
If refuse to deal with them , sweep them under the carpet , go on a long holiday or on a drinking and drug-popping spree; when you return , they will be there waiting for you and they will welcome you with a warm smile!
The stress-sufferer must act or seek expert counselling to be relieved of stress.
To maintain equilibrium , one has to remove all stress-causers by self-help and by seeking spiritual , medical , financial and legal advice .
If you are your own problem-causer and your attitude has brought stress into your life; then personal life style changes are necessary .
The best way to identify your stress-inducing attitude and to realise the harm they are doing to you and people close to you ,is to ask your family and trusted friends to write you anonymous notes , detailing your bad points.
Trust me , they will tell you exactly what they think you are doing wrong!
To maintain the good changes you have made in your life, you would need the help and counsel of the Comforter, the Holy Spirit .
Stressful periods are when we enjoy the benefits of a life of prayer and faith in God.
Prayer, prevailing prayer is an infallible stress-burster.
Take the stress – inducing challenges to Him for direction and peace of mind.
This close relationship with the Holy Spirit should be maintained , not only in times of stress but after the end of it.
Failure to receive continuous spiritual help would lead to a return to stressful living.
Also ,during your recovering process, decide to love and pamper yourself back to a state of all – round good health.
If you don't do this for yourself, nobody would do it for you.
Say good and nice things to yourself, daily.
Keep away from stressed-up persons who have refused to deal with their stress.
Get involved and interact with profitable people.
Exercise regularly. Give yourself a treat.
Why? Because you deserve it!
Retail therapy, beauty treatment , sauna and full–body massage with warm aromatic oils do wonders to relieve stress and fatigue .
Most of all , know when to stop and take a break from your normal routine.
Occasionally, go for a well- deserved holiday.
Have a stress –free day and a stress-free life!
It is a proof that the various facets of the human entity; the spirit , the soul (the mind , intellect and emotions) and the body are correctly aligned .
This balance , or harmony , is evidenced in a sense of well – being , characterised by a high–level of energy , a zest for life ( a merry heart!) with a calm confidence that no mountain is too high to climb.
Malfunction sets in when this harmony between the spirit , soul and body is upturned.
Stress and fatigue are our bodies' ways of letting us know that we are doing something which is not good for our health .
Due to the hustle and bustle of daily living , most people just go on pushing themselves ; to meet up with the rat race.
This striving causes fatigue and anxieties.
Stress is an indication that a person’s energy is being overstretched in excessive concentration on some facets of life to the detriment of others .
When there is a “pull for attention” from the different areas ,as in a tug-of-war; tautness and tension results in the body and mind .
Then stress and fatigue sets in.
Stress is a silent killer and is usually a precursor to heart and mental disorders.
Some of the unpleasant symptons of stress and fatigue are:
Depression, low self –esteem ,persistent feeling of tiredness, migraines, poor concentration , poor memory , sleeplessness, short temper and inability to perform even basic tasks which the person used to do before.
These are the mildest signs of stress in a person.
Stress- sufferers are aggressive and blame everyone for their misfortunes.
Acute stress causes alcohol dependancy, stimulants and drug abuse, schizophrenia ,high blood pressure , heart and mental disorders , suicide and even murder.
Attempting to alleviate stress by resorting to substance or drug abuse leads a person into a vicious cycle. Stress induces cravings for stimulants abuse and the latter brings on additional stress which demands for more drug abuse!
Common stress- triggers are fear, unanswered prayers, anxiety, anger, distress, helplessness, work – related pressures and even heartbreak caused by relationships break down.
Financial burdens ,losses and huge debts are challenges faced by many people, which have crippled countless lofty dreams and resulted in acute stress for millions of people.
The greater the fall in revenue, the greater the risk that the loser would suffer from acute stress.
Crime ,noise, traffic jams, bullying and receiving constant nagging and criticisms are major irritants which could bring on stress.
Other major causes of stress are guilt , failed expectations , terminal diseases and bereavement.
Stress also results from planning and executing a major event, from excessive multi-tasking and competitiveness .
A major underlining factor for stress is Envy.
There are persons who are stressed up because they do not want to see or hear of the the good-fortune of others.
Deep-seated hatred and resentment towards persons who are more successful and who possess what the stress - sufferer desires but cannot attain are destructive maladies.
Persons filled the spirits of Envy and Bitterness are some of the most unpleasant and destructive persons to live, work or socialise with.
Envy is the root of the evils of slander, witchcraft, sorcery and murder.
Inevitably, envy , bitterness and unforgiveness poison the mind and body ;they gnaw on the sufferer's guts and heart resulting in ulcers and acute hypertension .
The Holy Bible describes envy as " the rottenness of bones ". Proverbs 14:30.
From the above , it is apparent that stress must be recognised and treated with dispatch .
The causes , effects and treatment of stress is a vast topic .
Space allows me to state that whatever the cause and level of stress and fatigue; the first step in coping with stress and fatigue is to accept that; it makes for a calmer life if you realise that there are certain things , situations and persons which you can change and there are others which you cannot change .
In order to maintain a fulfilling , stress-free life , you would need to change what you put into your life , into your body and into mind .
Then and only after then , would you change how you feel , what you think and how you look .
You should be your own best friend by taking your life in your hands and making necessary amends.
You cannot run away from your demons. You have to confront them and deal with them.
If refuse to deal with them , sweep them under the carpet , go on a long holiday or on a drinking and drug-popping spree; when you return , they will be there waiting for you and they will welcome you with a warm smile!
The stress-sufferer must act or seek expert counselling to be relieved of stress.
To maintain equilibrium , one has to remove all stress-causers by self-help and by seeking spiritual , medical , financial and legal advice .
If you are your own problem-causer and your attitude has brought stress into your life; then personal life style changes are necessary .
The best way to identify your stress-inducing attitude and to realise the harm they are doing to you and people close to you ,is to ask your family and trusted friends to write you anonymous notes , detailing your bad points.
Trust me , they will tell you exactly what they think you are doing wrong!
To maintain the good changes you have made in your life, you would need the help and counsel of the Comforter, the Holy Spirit .
Stressful periods are when we enjoy the benefits of a life of prayer and faith in God.
Prayer, prevailing prayer is an infallible stress-burster.
Take the stress – inducing challenges to Him for direction and peace of mind.
This close relationship with the Holy Spirit should be maintained , not only in times of stress but after the end of it.
Failure to receive continuous spiritual help would lead to a return to stressful living.
Also ,during your recovering process, decide to love and pamper yourself back to a state of all – round good health.
If you don't do this for yourself, nobody would do it for you.
Say good and nice things to yourself, daily.
Keep away from stressed-up persons who have refused to deal with their stress.
Get involved and interact with profitable people.
Exercise regularly. Give yourself a treat.
Why? Because you deserve it!
Retail therapy, beauty treatment , sauna and full–body massage with warm aromatic oils do wonders to relieve stress and fatigue .
Most of all , know when to stop and take a break from your normal routine.
Occasionally, go for a well- deserved holiday.
Have a stress –free day and a stress-free life!
Wednesday, 30 December 2009
Wake Up and Smell the Coffee .
Have you caught the bug ?
There is this tendency for people to do a complete annual re-organisation and redecoration of their homes, just before Christmas and to usher in the New Year.
These "make-overs" would entail a lot sorting-out, dusting, cleaning, painting and decorating.
Changing wardrobes, home furniture and fittings for new and latest one is fashionable.
Apart from the delicious food , desserts and drinks ;the latest clothes, shoes , bags, home gadgets, equipment, electronics and even cars, do add some spice to life during the festive season.
Everyone knows the joy of opening our Christmas presents and finding therein, exactly what we wanted and dreamed of receiving as gifts from our loved ones; you know, the perfect dress, shoe, parfum , jewellery, iPods , DVD, or whatever!
And the pleasure which a shopping trip gives the entire family is immense!
This is the season for : "Out with the old , in with the new and the latest!".
Everybody knows this and don't the shops and stores know this? They sure do!
This is the time for them to tempt us with all those fantastic bargains and offers which keep us shopping for more and more , because every body loves a bargain.
For Londoners, the shopping spree is not only at Christmas but all through the year.
The January sales is now the talk of the town. It starts on Monday January 4th.
It is amazing that thousands of people are willing and passionate enough to queue up in the freezing cold, from night till early morning when the shops open.
So that they would be among the first group to rush in for the best bargains.
For some people , this "redecoration" is all encompassing. They extend it to touch every area of their lives which needs a special touch.
Included in the redecoration list are "failed projects" at work, in business and in personal relationships.
When we need a new wardrobe, home or car , we could shop around for replacements.
There are certain things in life which we cannot shop around for.
When they fail to meet our expectations, we work at restoring them; we seek help , believe and pray for changes in those situations.
When you are not fulfilled and fruitful in ministry ; what do you do but pray and press on.
When a business plan which you have invested so much time , prayers, efforts and money in , remains unproductive, what can you do?
Then you know , maybe , it is time to re-assess and it is time to try a new approach to your business goals. Or even to drop the idea for something better.
However, for every one, there comes a time when we wake up, one fine morning and smell the coffee.
When we, inevitably, come to the conclusion that something is not right ,is not good enough, or is not working. It just has to go .
This is the time of year for "New Year resolutions".
These are , usually born out of a deep realisation that we do not need certain clutter or stress in our lives and so we have to effect drastic changes of direction.
Some people do keep these " New Year resolutions" and never go back to square one.
Their testimonies ,usually ,are that their lives changed for good when they stuck to their "New Year Resolutions".
May this be our testimony in the new year as we hand over our lives and situations to Jesus Christ who makes all things beautiful.
The Lord will perfect that which concerns me : your mercy O Lord, endures for ever:
forsake not the works of thine own hands . Psalms 138:8.
The best life-style is not one that is based on these endless year-end resolutions ( which are soon discarded , anyway!); but a life that relies on a Relationship with the Giver of Abundant Life.
Let's face it, there are loads of "stuff" we do, places we go to and there are some people we are connected to, who we have to do away with.
Wake up and smell the coffee! There are certain things and certain people who will not budge and will not change to conform to our expectations or to the norm.
We should not, even pray to retain such "stress-inducers" in our lives, at all.
Why? Because WE KNOW that, they are not good for us and they DO NOT enrich or bless our lives, in any way.
So these have to go OUT with the old year and be kept out of your life , thereafter, for our own good!
It could be very painful to do this and one would need a mean and hard heart to do this periodic life re-organisations.
But we've got to be strong and resolute to overcome "bad habits".
There are times when we must open the doors and windows and let stuff fly away.
Let out stale air and let fresh air in.
If we are resolved to discard toxic habits , toxic relationships and toxic activities, soon, we would realise that, that was one of best things we ever did.
This complete overhaul and disconnection is life-saving and imperative.
It is similar to the gorging out of the right eye and amputation of the right hand which the Lord Jesus strongly recommended in Matthew 5: 29 -30
May you receive grace for strength to de-clutter and detoxify your life , permanently.
Here is wishing you a happy and glorious New Year ; filled with the fragrance of His presence. Amen.
Thursday, 24 December 2009
Saturday, 12 December 2009
Tiger Woods - Getting On With It.
Tiger Woods' decision to take an indefinite break from golf and spend more time with his wife and children is the one wise decision he has made in recent weeks.
Relocating from the "Crime Scene" for an extended period of time is just what Tiger, his aggrieved wife and their two children need , right now.
A change of scene; going to a distant location, on holiday with his family, away from prying eyes would , definitely, go a long away in healing their frayed nerves.
I pray God would grant them the grace to receive Christ's peace and love into their lives so that they would be healed and they would recover every lost ground!
So far, Tiger has not managed this crisis very well.
Immediately after his car crash , he could have clammed up or come clean; instead of making ambiguous statements about "transgressions".
Then, two days ago , he got a court order , gagging the British press from reporting on his affairs. Wrong move , again!
When you gag news hounds, especially the British Press, they smell blood and then they begin to gig deeper into the story you are trying to keep the press from.
I have this gut feeling about this Tiger Wood's sad story, that there are more revelations to be uncovered and more termites to emerge from the woodwork!
Now that all sorts of " waitresses, models and escorts" , who had never seen or held even $3,000 in their hands in their entire lives; know that there is at least $300,000 to be made from selling their stories to newspapers and magazines , from TV appearances and from writing books about "My Sizzling Romp With Tiger Woods!"; this unfortunate story would snowball and get bigger and juicer. These women would milk the situation to the last drop!
Until the public tires of the story or when another celebrity sex scandal erupts.
It is very funny that one of Tiger's mistresses has said she was sorry for the hurt she has caused Tiger's wife. Sorry? Oh yeah!
But not "sorry" for the TV interviews and magazines cover shoots which she has been gaining from , gleefully?
As for Tiger Woods , what on earth was he thinking ; knowing that such behaviour is unacceptable to God and unacceptable in the society Tiger lives in?
It is not as if Tiger thought he was living in a society where men could do anything they wanted ; societies where women's feelings and opinions count for nothing and where it is acceptable for women to be trampled upon , used and discarded , anyhow and any time, by men.
In certain areas of the world ,celebrities' extramarital frolics are not newsworthy.
In fact people would laugh and dismiss such stories with a " so what?" and a wave of hand !
In such societies, successful and affluent men eat, drink and swim in adultery, with impunity!
So, in such lawless societies, their men , even the poor ones , are encouraged to do as they please; while their women folk are admonished to accept their positions as "good women", that is, they are " home -builders who should patiently and prayerfully bear all grievances against their men , stoically".
Not surprised that people are calling for Tiger's head because of his "transgression" and unacceptable behaviour.
In recent news, celebrities and even members of the public, have expressed "surprise and disgust" that Tiger Woods "could do a thing like that".
Ironically, the most vocal condemnation have come from men.
These men are alarmed because they know that it is sheer foolhardiness and insanity for any man in Tiger's income bracket to allow himself to be caught in adultery!
Of course , it is obvious that demands for " action against Tiger Woods" have also, come from those who, for various reasons ,were unhappy about his success.
In life, when you tear down the hedge around you , don't blame your enemies for moving in and attacking you. Ecclesiastes 10:8.
As for Tiger's critics, they should let Tiger be!
People can condemn others because they have not been caught , yet.
Tiger is not the first to be caught in a sex scandal. Who is next ?
But for the grace of God , they would have been in Tiger Wood's messy position today.
Tiger sinned against God by breaking his marital vows.
God is merciful and eager to forgive when we confess and forsake our sins.
Therefore he should be left in peace to make amend with his God and to put his life and his home in order.
What is the furore about all these revelations ? Is Tiger, the only married man or the only celebrity who is involved in extra-marital affairs , even as we speak?
No , he is not.
The shocking aspect in this case is Tiger Wood's incredible NAIVETY.
It is common knowledge that men and women who cheat on their spouses or partners , usually go the extra mile to cover their tracks.
Some of them have succeeded in playing the perfect wives and husbands; so well so that the truth about their secret lives was not known until after their funerals!
The one law which most philandering men(and women!) keep religiously is; their very own Eleventh Commandment :
"Thou shall not be caught!"
But celebrities don't live in the real world . So Tiger and other celebrities like him , who have been caught, are not street-wise enough to see through people or to know how "commoners" navigate the murky waters of relationships with the opposite sex.
Tiger's well paid aides could have counselled or shielded him from committing these serious blunders which are now threatening to destroy every thing he has ever worked for. This media circus will continue for sometime because the story of how careless Tiger has been , even to the extent of been caught red-handed , does sell newspapers.
Everyone knows that there are girls, boys, men and women , out there who would give their eyeballs to get their hands on ANY celebrity .
They would want this because they know they would get INSTANT fame and a mint of cash by offering for sale to the highest bidder, their "kiss and tell" story.
So , it is indeed, the height of naivety, for Tiger to have engaged in such affairs ,openly ,so close to his home and with voice messages as evidence!
Also , it is suicidal to give any body evidence to use against you in future!
Especially , non-achieving people who have nothing to lose by "kissing and telling".
For goodness sake , Tiger! Everybody knows that spouses and partners keep a tab on each other by , regularly checking out their other half's phone records and text messages .
Checking and monitoring for all it is worth!
Veterans in the game of infidelity would laugh up their sleeves, at these futile checks and counter- checks! .
Love cheats would always ensure that their other halves see only those stuff which they want them to see.
This entails not keeping phone records and any other incriminating documents lying around for spouses and partners to see!
To escape detection , what these cheats do is to keep a secret mobile phone which they use to conduct their affairs. These mobile phones are NEVER brought into the couple's home or left carelessly lying around!
Tiger's wife has decided to keep their marriage "for the sake of our children".
Recently , some other wronged celebrity wives , have decided to stand by their men and get on with their marital lives, despite everything.
But would Tiger Woods or any man forgive an adulterous wife who has slept with several men?
Even for the sakes of their children?
This decision to "get on with it", to make an effort to repair their marriages, despite being hurt and humiliated, is a new and welcome trend among celebrities .
Being public figures, when their marriages or relationships break down, their pain and humiliation becomes public and well reported.
Recently, there have been numerous such cases of unfaithful husbands and wives; star footballers, actors, actresses, politicians and other star figures getting unusual forgiveness and second chances from their aggrieved spouses.
Some people have sneered at decisions not to seek divorce as self-serving decisions by wronged spouses who stand to gain more by remaining married to their guilty spouses.
Indeed, decisions to overlook wrongs become easier if the erring partner, like Tiger Woods earns a basic income of $100,000,000, per annum ; apart from incomes from adverts and endorsements.
In any relationship , there could be low points like this Tiger story.
What to do? Storm out of the marriage or relationship in anger; shoot someone or head for the divorce courts?
That would be playing into the hands of intruders, "strange women or men" who set out, deliberately, to break up couples by seducing one of them.
In the long run, one would realise that there is no perfect husband or wife on earth. And no perfect marriage exists, either.
Getting on with it is the better option to divorce,especially in a Christian marriage, when it becomes easier for the couple to make the Word of God their guide , in resolving irritating issues.
Forgiving and forgetting wrongs become easier to do , especially in cases where the erring partner has shown remorse, has confessed his or her sin to the other half and asked for forgiveness as Tiger Woods has done.
This is the basis of the couples' resolve to pick up the pieces of their broken relationship and get on with it on a clean slate.
Forgiving one another even as God has forgiven us is the best solution to infidelity.
But this is easier said than done. It does entail a lot of payer and resolve by both parties, to succeed in keeping their union intact.
It takes the resolve of two persons to build any relationship.
What if the erring partner is not sorry, refuses to apologise or to give up his/her affairs and does not support or desire a reconciliation?
Well! That is another topic entirely.
Relocating from the "Crime Scene" for an extended period of time is just what Tiger, his aggrieved wife and their two children need , right now.
A change of scene; going to a distant location, on holiday with his family, away from prying eyes would , definitely, go a long away in healing their frayed nerves.
I pray God would grant them the grace to receive Christ's peace and love into their lives so that they would be healed and they would recover every lost ground!
So far, Tiger has not managed this crisis very well.
Immediately after his car crash , he could have clammed up or come clean; instead of making ambiguous statements about "transgressions".
Then, two days ago , he got a court order , gagging the British press from reporting on his affairs. Wrong move , again!
When you gag news hounds, especially the British Press, they smell blood and then they begin to gig deeper into the story you are trying to keep the press from.
I have this gut feeling about this Tiger Wood's sad story, that there are more revelations to be uncovered and more termites to emerge from the woodwork!
Now that all sorts of " waitresses, models and escorts" , who had never seen or held even $3,000 in their hands in their entire lives; know that there is at least $300,000 to be made from selling their stories to newspapers and magazines , from TV appearances and from writing books about "My Sizzling Romp With Tiger Woods!"; this unfortunate story would snowball and get bigger and juicer. These women would milk the situation to the last drop!
Until the public tires of the story or when another celebrity sex scandal erupts.
It is very funny that one of Tiger's mistresses has said she was sorry for the hurt she has caused Tiger's wife. Sorry? Oh yeah!
But not "sorry" for the TV interviews and magazines cover shoots which she has been gaining from , gleefully?
As for Tiger Woods , what on earth was he thinking ; knowing that such behaviour is unacceptable to God and unacceptable in the society Tiger lives in?
It is not as if Tiger thought he was living in a society where men could do anything they wanted ; societies where women's feelings and opinions count for nothing and where it is acceptable for women to be trampled upon , used and discarded , anyhow and any time, by men.
In certain areas of the world ,celebrities' extramarital frolics are not newsworthy.
In fact people would laugh and dismiss such stories with a " so what?" and a wave of hand !
In such societies, successful and affluent men eat, drink and swim in adultery, with impunity!
So, in such lawless societies, their men , even the poor ones , are encouraged to do as they please; while their women folk are admonished to accept their positions as "good women", that is, they are " home -builders who should patiently and prayerfully bear all grievances against their men , stoically".
Not surprised that people are calling for Tiger's head because of his "transgression" and unacceptable behaviour.
In recent news, celebrities and even members of the public, have expressed "surprise and disgust" that Tiger Woods "could do a thing like that".
Ironically, the most vocal condemnation have come from men.
These men are alarmed because they know that it is sheer foolhardiness and insanity for any man in Tiger's income bracket to allow himself to be caught in adultery!
Of course , it is obvious that demands for " action against Tiger Woods" have also, come from those who, for various reasons ,were unhappy about his success.
In life, when you tear down the hedge around you , don't blame your enemies for moving in and attacking you. Ecclesiastes 10:8.
As for Tiger's critics, they should let Tiger be!
People can condemn others because they have not been caught , yet.
Tiger is not the first to be caught in a sex scandal. Who is next ?
But for the grace of God , they would have been in Tiger Wood's messy position today.
Tiger sinned against God by breaking his marital vows.
God is merciful and eager to forgive when we confess and forsake our sins.
Therefore he should be left in peace to make amend with his God and to put his life and his home in order.
What is the furore about all these revelations ? Is Tiger, the only married man or the only celebrity who is involved in extra-marital affairs , even as we speak?
No , he is not.
The shocking aspect in this case is Tiger Wood's incredible NAIVETY.
It is common knowledge that men and women who cheat on their spouses or partners , usually go the extra mile to cover their tracks.
Some of them have succeeded in playing the perfect wives and husbands; so well so that the truth about their secret lives was not known until after their funerals!
The one law which most philandering men(and women!) keep religiously is; their very own Eleventh Commandment :
"Thou shall not be caught!"
But celebrities don't live in the real world . So Tiger and other celebrities like him , who have been caught, are not street-wise enough to see through people or to know how "commoners" navigate the murky waters of relationships with the opposite sex.
Tiger's well paid aides could have counselled or shielded him from committing these serious blunders which are now threatening to destroy every thing he has ever worked for. This media circus will continue for sometime because the story of how careless Tiger has been , even to the extent of been caught red-handed , does sell newspapers.
Everyone knows that there are girls, boys, men and women , out there who would give their eyeballs to get their hands on ANY celebrity .
They would want this because they know they would get INSTANT fame and a mint of cash by offering for sale to the highest bidder, their "kiss and tell" story.
So , it is indeed, the height of naivety, for Tiger to have engaged in such affairs ,openly ,so close to his home and with voice messages as evidence!
Also , it is suicidal to give any body evidence to use against you in future!
Especially , non-achieving people who have nothing to lose by "kissing and telling".
For goodness sake , Tiger! Everybody knows that spouses and partners keep a tab on each other by , regularly checking out their other half's phone records and text messages .
Checking and monitoring for all it is worth!
Veterans in the game of infidelity would laugh up their sleeves, at these futile checks and counter- checks! .
Love cheats would always ensure that their other halves see only those stuff which they want them to see.
This entails not keeping phone records and any other incriminating documents lying around for spouses and partners to see!
To escape detection , what these cheats do is to keep a secret mobile phone which they use to conduct their affairs. These mobile phones are NEVER brought into the couple's home or left carelessly lying around!
Tiger's wife has decided to keep their marriage "for the sake of our children".
Recently , some other wronged celebrity wives , have decided to stand by their men and get on with their marital lives, despite everything.
But would Tiger Woods or any man forgive an adulterous wife who has slept with several men?
Even for the sakes of their children?
This decision to "get on with it", to make an effort to repair their marriages, despite being hurt and humiliated, is a new and welcome trend among celebrities .
Being public figures, when their marriages or relationships break down, their pain and humiliation becomes public and well reported.
Recently, there have been numerous such cases of unfaithful husbands and wives; star footballers, actors, actresses, politicians and other star figures getting unusual forgiveness and second chances from their aggrieved spouses.
Some people have sneered at decisions not to seek divorce as self-serving decisions by wronged spouses who stand to gain more by remaining married to their guilty spouses.
Indeed, decisions to overlook wrongs become easier if the erring partner, like Tiger Woods earns a basic income of $100,000,000, per annum ; apart from incomes from adverts and endorsements.
In any relationship , there could be low points like this Tiger story.
What to do? Storm out of the marriage or relationship in anger; shoot someone or head for the divorce courts?
That would be playing into the hands of intruders, "strange women or men" who set out, deliberately, to break up couples by seducing one of them.
In the long run, one would realise that there is no perfect husband or wife on earth. And no perfect marriage exists, either.
Getting on with it is the better option to divorce,especially in a Christian marriage, when it becomes easier for the couple to make the Word of God their guide , in resolving irritating issues.
Forgiving and forgetting wrongs become easier to do , especially in cases where the erring partner has shown remorse, has confessed his or her sin to the other half and asked for forgiveness as Tiger Woods has done.
This is the basis of the couples' resolve to pick up the pieces of their broken relationship and get on with it on a clean slate.
Forgiving one another even as God has forgiven us is the best solution to infidelity.
But this is easier said than done. It does entail a lot of payer and resolve by both parties, to succeed in keeping their union intact.
It takes the resolve of two persons to build any relationship.
What if the erring partner is not sorry, refuses to apologise or to give up his/her affairs and does not support or desire a reconciliation?
Well! That is another topic entirely.
Thursday, 26 November 2009
Thursday, 19 November 2009
The Insanity Plea
Recently, I witnessed an accused person leaving court with an acquittal from a charge of causing GBH (Grievous Bodily Harm).
I was in court on a different official matter. I felt sad for both the accused person and the victims of his crime.
As I glanced at the family and friends of the victim , huddled together, heads bowed, my heart sank.
Their faces clearly showed their pain , bitterness and disgust at the outcome of months of court appearances.
The victim survived the vicious attack , but with disabilities for life.
He sat in a wheel chair speechless and looked very shocked.
I could only imagine how those people felt ; especially when the accused walked free; with a swagger and with a broad grin, like that of the cat that got the cream!
He walked free amidst cheers and back slapping for him from his supporters!
The accused person was acquitted by reason of insanity.
He was "free", sort of ; free to be taken away to a secured unit. Escorted by social workers and securities operatives who whisked him away, quickly, from the scene.
He had his day in court and the laws of the land had found him unfit to be held culpable for his actions. So be it.
Apart from the legal considerations, it is morally wrong and unfair to convict an insane person of crimes committed by him or her during the period he/she is adjudged "Criminally Insane ".
But where do we draw the line? Who qualifies for the Insanity Plea?
There are numerous cases of people committing murder or causing GBH because the culprit felt the victim had shown him "disrespect".
In another of such cases of GBH, this person who had committed similar offences twice before, re-offended. Since he was registered as suffering from "Severe Clinical Depression", he had been let off the previous charges and placed on a course of treatment and rehabilitation.
However, this time around,things were not that easy for him.
He had to be placed in a far-away secure unit, for his own good. With a complete change of identity !
The reason being that after weeks in hospital, his victim survived the stabbing by a hair-breadth and identified him!
This latest victim had two brothers who themselves were suspected to have undiagnosed serious mental problems. They had been on observation by the authorities for months for severe antisocial behaviour patterns ,even before their brother was stabbed.
They have vowed revenge. Nobody in their neighbour hood who knew what they were capable of doing ,disbelieved them!
If the brothers succeed in carrying out their threat and they are charged to court, what would their pleas be? "Insanity" or "Disrespect"?
Someone said every human being suffers, usually unnoticed ,brief mental derailment of about five minutes , daily.
Wouldn't it be just , simply wonderful to be able to exploit our perceived insane moments ? To do all those evil things which we would love to do ; but for the law and fear of reprisals which restrain us? Then plead insanity after being caught!
I mean, the list is endless. We could, all, decide to have a field day with this "Insanity" thing.
Every one knows someone who they would like to encircle that person's throat with their hands and squeeze hard.
Or we could decide to pay "courtesy visits" to the shops filled with all those luxury goods and gadgets which have caught our fancy.
We could take our pick of all the goods on offer and make our exit, quietly, with the loot!
And just in case , any overzealous store detective apprehends us at the store exit, just look at him , grin sweetly and plead insanity!
There was a case of a man who pleaded insanity when caught pants down with another woman , by his wife!
The Insanity Plea is not for persons with violent and ungovernable tempers or persons who have no regard for law and order,or for peaceful co-existence with others.
It is not for those who have no qualms about breaking the law but they think they are too "posh for prison"!
After every crime,the lives of both the culprits and the victims are shattered. Nobody is ever "free" or remains the same after shedding human blood , stealing or hurting people's feelings.
The freedom which can be gotten by a plea of insanity is only for those who , of a truth , are incapable of being aware of their actions.
If ignorance is bliss, then the schizophrenic mind is, indeed, seated on a throne in Cuckooland, completely oblivious and at peace in his world.
Pretenders to this "throne" plead feigned "insanity" in order to escape conviction.
They could escape conviction; many of them have done so , through the services of brilliant defence teams and by faulty judgments but they are never free because , for the rest of their lives , they have murdered their own sleep.
"...the VOICE of thy brother's blood crieth to me from the ground.
And now thou art cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother's blood from thy hand"; Genesis 4: 10,11.
I was in court on a different official matter. I felt sad for both the accused person and the victims of his crime.
As I glanced at the family and friends of the victim , huddled together, heads bowed, my heart sank.
Their faces clearly showed their pain , bitterness and disgust at the outcome of months of court appearances.
The victim survived the vicious attack , but with disabilities for life.
He sat in a wheel chair speechless and looked very shocked.
I could only imagine how those people felt ; especially when the accused walked free; with a swagger and with a broad grin, like that of the cat that got the cream!
He walked free amidst cheers and back slapping for him from his supporters!
The accused person was acquitted by reason of insanity.
He was "free", sort of ; free to be taken away to a secured unit. Escorted by social workers and securities operatives who whisked him away, quickly, from the scene.
He had his day in court and the laws of the land had found him unfit to be held culpable for his actions. So be it.
Apart from the legal considerations, it is morally wrong and unfair to convict an insane person of crimes committed by him or her during the period he/she is adjudged "Criminally Insane ".
But where do we draw the line? Who qualifies for the Insanity Plea?
There are numerous cases of people committing murder or causing GBH because the culprit felt the victim had shown him "disrespect".
In another of such cases of GBH, this person who had committed similar offences twice before, re-offended. Since he was registered as suffering from "Severe Clinical Depression", he had been let off the previous charges and placed on a course of treatment and rehabilitation.
However, this time around,things were not that easy for him.
He had to be placed in a far-away secure unit, for his own good. With a complete change of identity !
The reason being that after weeks in hospital, his victim survived the stabbing by a hair-breadth and identified him!
This latest victim had two brothers who themselves were suspected to have undiagnosed serious mental problems. They had been on observation by the authorities for months for severe antisocial behaviour patterns ,even before their brother was stabbed.
They have vowed revenge. Nobody in their neighbour hood who knew what they were capable of doing ,disbelieved them!
If the brothers succeed in carrying out their threat and they are charged to court, what would their pleas be? "Insanity" or "Disrespect"?
Someone said every human being suffers, usually unnoticed ,brief mental derailment of about five minutes , daily.
Wouldn't it be just , simply wonderful to be able to exploit our perceived insane moments ? To do all those evil things which we would love to do ; but for the law and fear of reprisals which restrain us? Then plead insanity after being caught!
I mean, the list is endless. We could, all, decide to have a field day with this "Insanity" thing.
Every one knows someone who they would like to encircle that person's throat with their hands and squeeze hard.
Or we could decide to pay "courtesy visits" to the shops filled with all those luxury goods and gadgets which have caught our fancy.
We could take our pick of all the goods on offer and make our exit, quietly, with the loot!
And just in case , any overzealous store detective apprehends us at the store exit, just look at him , grin sweetly and plead insanity!
There was a case of a man who pleaded insanity when caught pants down with another woman , by his wife!
The Insanity Plea is not for persons with violent and ungovernable tempers or persons who have no regard for law and order,or for peaceful co-existence with others.
It is not for those who have no qualms about breaking the law but they think they are too "posh for prison"!
After every crime,the lives of both the culprits and the victims are shattered. Nobody is ever "free" or remains the same after shedding human blood , stealing or hurting people's feelings.
The freedom which can be gotten by a plea of insanity is only for those who , of a truth , are incapable of being aware of their actions.
If ignorance is bliss, then the schizophrenic mind is, indeed, seated on a throne in Cuckooland, completely oblivious and at peace in his world.
Pretenders to this "throne" plead feigned "insanity" in order to escape conviction.
They could escape conviction; many of them have done so , through the services of brilliant defence teams and by faulty judgments but they are never free because , for the rest of their lives , they have murdered their own sleep.
"...the VOICE of thy brother's blood crieth to me from the ground.
And now thou art cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother's blood from thy hand"; Genesis 4: 10,11.
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It is natural for human beings to want to know the juicy details about the affairs of others. Especially, about the daily lives of the...
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